http://freedomspb.mybb.ru/ ...:::FREEDOM[spb]:::...[178.252.99.12:27015] ru-ru Sat, 13 Jan 2024 08:12:47 +0300 MyBB/mybb.ru http://freedomspb.mybb.ru/viewtopic.php?pid=66#p66 <p><span style="display: block; text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 24px">Это мошеничество</span></strong></span>&#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; 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&#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; <span style="display: block; text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 14px">Профиль исполнителя <a href="https://kwork.ru/user/rus-design" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://kwork.ru/user/rus-design</a> в переписке обсудили основные моменты, передали ему доступы к админ панели сайта, ftp и ssh серверу. Исполнитель порекомендовал обновить версию CMS т.к текущая версия была слишком старой для написания модуля импорта. Исполнитель предложил работать в рамках договора и составил его, в нем описаны обязанности сторон, описание технического задания, сроки и стоимость. </span></span>&#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; 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Оплату по договору внесли (сначала за модуль 8500 и 17500 за разработку шаблона аналогично текущему и кастомных изменений)</span></span>&#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; 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&#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; <span style="display: block; text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 14px">Договорились, что все работы по доработкам будут производиться на копии сайта, после чего все изменения перенесем на основной сайт. Исполнитель приступил к работе, но редко выходил на связь (переписка велась на площадке <a href="https://kwork.ru/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://kwork.ru/</a> и мессенджере “телеграм”). После истечения сроков указанных в договоре, полностью игнорировал сообщения и не отвечал на звонки. По факту результата нет. Шаблон и кастомные изменения не внесены, модуль импорта также не сделан.</span></span>&#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; 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&#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160;<span style="display: block; text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 14px">Мошенник и ссыкло Ушаков Андрей Александрович</span></span>&#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; 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&#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; <a href="https://u.to/1DU_IA/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><span style="display: block; text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 16px">Перейти</span></strong></span></a></p> mybb@mybb.ru (xjfefjrhsy) Sat, 13 Jan 2024 08:12:47 +0300 http://freedomspb.mybb.ru/viewtopic.php?pid=66#p66 http://freedomspb.mybb.ru/viewtopic.php?pid=65#p65 <p>Проекты которые лучше хайпов, форекс, казино. Надежнее и прибыльнее. Только EssoMillanni.com&#160; Для начала хочу поблагодарить всех людей которые оплатить доступ к приватной информации на нашем ресурсе. Переходим сразу к делу: Есть проекты, которые лучше Форекс и казино. Риска меньше, а прибыль значительно больше. Например, есть такая компания Essomillanni.com. Нашла ее на зарубежном форуме биткоинталк. Ставим сумму, например 100$, указываем, где окажется график через 10 секунд, выше или ниже отметки. Если все Good, на баланс падает +85$. Получается: Первое - не нужно ждать сутками, прибыль моментальная. Второе - Прибыль в процентах прилично большая. Деньги выводят - А для нас это самое главное. Теперь бонус, рассказываю секрет, как я раскручиваю счет до 3000$ за один день. И так, внимание! Иду за трендом!! Ставлю на криптовалюту. У рынка криптовалют, бывают очень при, очень волатильные момента, это когда валюта рушится или очень быстро растет. Вот на таких обвалах я поднимаю бабло. Т.е если например эфириум, начинает крутое пике вниз, значит пора этим пользоваться. Сайт с которым работаю я и мои коллеги EssoMillanni.vip&#160; Начинайте действовать, пока есть возможность!!!&#160; Перейти&#160; <a href="https://is.gd/UKYOgO" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://is.gd/UKYOgO</a></p> mybb@mybb.ru (xjfefjrhsy) Tue, 15 Feb 2022 07:34:17 +0300 http://freedomspb.mybb.ru/viewtopic.php?pid=65#p65 http://freedomspb.mybb.ru/viewtopic.php?pid=55#p55 <div class="quote-box answer-box"><cite>Граф™ написал(а):</cite><blockquote><p>Я не против,если ты сделаешь это бесплатно</p></blockquote></div><p>Согласен, связь со мной Sktpe: avas___1</p> mybb@mybb.ru (Ghost) Tue, 14 Dec 2010 19:21:32 +0300 http://freedomspb.mybb.ru/viewtopic.php?pid=55#p55 http://freedomspb.mybb.ru/viewtopic.php?pid=22#p22 <p><strong>Представьте себе, сколько было бы книг, если идея о Гарри Поттере пришла<br />бы в голову Дарье Донцовой! Первые десять книг он бы только искал поезд,<br />следующий в Хогвардс.</p> <p>Отца четверых детей мучает ужасное подозрение, которым он делится с женой:<br />— Слушай, Клава, мне кажется, что Коля не мой сын...<br />Жена возмущается:<br />— И как только это могло прийти тебе в голову? Как раз Коля-то от тебя!</p> <p>Девушка пришла в милицию и плачет:<br />- С меня сорвали норковую шапку!<br />Милиционер ее учит:<br />- Когда в следующий раз купите шапку, то сразу пришейте к ней резинку.<br />А лучше так: один конец резинки пришейте к шапке, а второй – к колготкам. Тогда вас не только не обворуют, потому что шапка будет пришита к колготкам, но и не изнасилуют, потому что колготки будут пришиты к шапке!</p> <p>Сын:<br />- А зачем у мостика заборчик?<br />Одновременно. Мама:<br />- Это чтобы ты случайно туда не упал.<br />Папа:<br />- Это чтобы ты сдуру туда не прыгнул.</p> <p>- Папа, ты в школе дрался?<br />- Конечно дрался!<br />- А ты всех побил?<br />- Конечно, всех!<br />- Пап, а можно тебя попросить, чтобы ты больше не приходил к нам в школу?</p> <p>Знаменитая Новоафонская пещера. Гид показывает группе туристов различные переходы и помещения. В одном из залов туристы видят два скелета.<br />- Откуда эти скелеты? спрашивает испуганно одна из туристок.<br />Гид отвечает:<br />- Они хотели посмотреть пещеру без помощи гида!</p> <p>В 2015 году киностудия «Мосфильм» выпустит фильм «Холодное лето две тысячи десятого»...</p> <p>Есть опыт учебы, есть опыт работы, хочу еще опыт зарплаты...</p> <p>- привет, кем работаешь?<br />- электриком<br />- и сколько получаешь?<br />- а, ну это смотря какой грунт...</p> <p>На дискотеке парень провожает девушку после танца:<br />- Спасибо! Своими движениями вы доставили мне огромное удовольствие!<br />- Ну что вы! Я плохо танцую.<br />- Зато смешно.</p> <p>Шеф на собрании:<br />- Уважаемые коллеги! Кто из вас в этом году быстрее всех выполнит план,<br />тот получит от меня шоколадку.<br />- Шеф, нам бы зарплату...<br />- Так, начинается! Я уже купил шоколадки!</p> <p>Учили вчера гаишника играть в тысячу.<br />Объясняли по-простому:<br />- Гоша, смотри, тут как на работе - главное взять как можно больше взяток.</p> <p>Почему все террористы - арабы? Почему именно арабы всегда готовы к<br />самоубийству?<br />Давайте порассуждаем логически:<br />1. У них нет проституток.<br />2. Им запрещено пить алкогольные напитки.<br />3. У них запрещены бары.<br />6. Им запрещено играть в спортивные игры, появляться на стадионах, на<br />разных вечеринках и т. п.<br />7. Им запрещено сигналить в машине.<br />8. Им запрещено есть свинину.<br />9. Кругом песок, и нет даже квадрацикла для развлечений.<br />10. Вы когда-нибудь пробовали ловить рыбу в пустыне?<br />11. Заворачиваться в простынь вместо одежды?<br />12. Есть только правой рукой, потому что левая предназначена<br />исключительно для вытирания задницы (как будто в жизни и без этого не<br />хватает проблем)?<br />13. Слышать соседа, стонущего от боли, потому что в округе нет врачей.<br />14. Им запрещено бриться.<br />15. Им запрещено купаться.<br />16. Им запрещено слушать музыку других народов.<br />17. Им запрещено слушать радио.<br />18. Они делают шашлык из ослятины на углях, сделанных из навоза<br />верблюдов.<br />19. Женщины одеты в одежду до пола, и их лица полностью закрыты всё<br />время.<br />20. Они не видят грудь даже случайно.<br />21. Жену тебе выбирает кто-то совершенно посторонний.<br />22. Твоя жена укутана так хорошо, что только через полгода ты обращаешь<br />внимание на то, что у неё есть борода.<br />23. И после всего этого тебе обещают довольно убедительно, что после<br />смерти ты попадёшь в рай и у тебя там будет всё, о чём ты мечтал, когда<br />жил на земле.<br />А теперь скажи мне правду, и только правду:<br />ТЫ БЫ НЕ ВЗОРВАЛСЯ ОТ... ?!</p> <p>Взлом в сети это как секс - ты входишь в систему, выходишь из нее, а потом волнуешься, как бы ты там ничего не оставил, что может привести к последствиям.</p> <p>Психиатр говорит пациентке:<br />- У вас явно не всё в порядке с психикой.<br />- Вы меня извините, доктор - но я бы хотела выслушать и ещё одно мнение!<br />- Ну что ж, раз вы настаиваете - пожалуйста: вы ещё и страшная...</p> <p>- Вчера вечером на кухне видел фильм ужасов «Шепот».<br />- Так у тебя же нет на кухне телевизора...<br />- Не, ты не понял - жена с тещей одновременно ангиной заболели.</p> <p>- Что это с вашим котом? Он носится по всем садам и чердакам, как угорелый?!<br />- Я вчера его кастрировала. Сегодня он отменяет все свои договоренности</p> <p>У Валуева в детстве угнали велик. Теперь он заносит на ночь в квартиру свою семерку BMW.</p> <p>Взмыленные родители подбегают к тринадцатилетней дочке:<br />- Ах ты дрянная девчонка! Мы с папой уже все окрестные бары и дискотеки обегали! А она у подъезда... в песочнице играет! . .</p> <p>Жена мужу:<br />- Дорогой, я иду в магазин. Тебе купить что-нибудь вкусненькое?<br />- Ага, дорогая, только аккуратнее - на улице скользко, смотри, а то подскользнешься и разобьешь!</p> <p>Маленький мальчик Сашенька заходит за Васенькой, чтобы пойти погулять во дворе. Дверь открывает Васина мама.<br />- А Васенька выйдет?<br />- А Вася кушает. Ты, наверное, тоже хочешь кушать?<br />- Да...<br />- Ну, иди домой, покушай.</p> <p>Никакого подозрения не вызывает человек, который пьёт водку из бутылки<br />от минералки. И большое подозрение вызывает человек, который пьёт<br />минералку из бутылки от водки.</p> <p>- Может ударим по водочке?<br />- Нет, жарковато - лучше по пивку. Водка может и сдачи дать.</p> <p>Сижу на перроне, электричку жду, через скамейку от меня усаживаются два мужика. Один весь в камуфляже, на голове бандана, волосы длинные, борода, зуб выбит, здоровенный сам... Жуть вообще! Слышу обрывки разговора: &quot;Взрывная декомпрессия... танки, гаубицы... когда в атаку пошли... броню пробивает...&quot; Сижу тихонечко, со скамейкой слилась, как хамелеон почти. Думаю, опасный тип, неизвестно откуда прибыл... Потом, тоже обрывком: &quot;Хорошо, там хоть мирного населения почти нет, в игрушке этой...&quot;</p> <p>-... А тут ещё ребёнок... Три годика, а он только жрёт, гадит и орёт!<br />- Мальчик? Девочка?<br />- Мальчик.<br />- Ну тогда всё нормально, он так всегда будет.</p> <p>- Я чувствую, что мой муж уже не любит меня, как прежде!<br />- А в чем это проявляется?<br />- За последние три года он ни разу не появился дома!</p> <p>Жена - мужу:<br />- Ты совсем не обращаешь на меня внимания!<br />- Обращаю!<br />- Ну конечно, вот сегодня ты заметил, что я покрасилась?<br />- Конечно заметил!<br />- А я не покрасилась...</p> <p>- Комп - это зло!<br />- Ага!<br />- Выключу щас, а то ничего не успеваю сделать.<br />- Я вчера выключил и появилось два новых зла - холодильник и телевизор.</p> <p>Брюнетка - блондинке:<br />- Как твоя машина называется?<br />- Peugeot Airbag.<br />- ???<br />- На руле так написано. </strong></p> mybb@mybb.ru (Граф™) Wed, 28 Jul 2010 00:18:56 +0400 http://freedomspb.mybb.ru/viewtopic.php?pid=22#p22 http://freedomspb.mybb.ru/viewtopic.php?pid=21#p21 <p># 455 &quot;Nero459&quot; STEAM_0:1:2126384687 51:53 119 0 active<br />Бан навсегда(автоприцеливание,нет отдачи)<br /><a href="http://narod.ru/disk/23076580000/nero.dem.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Демка</a></p> mybb@mybb.ru (Граф™) Sat, 24 Jul 2010 22:52:02 +0400 http://freedomspb.mybb.ru/viewtopic.php?pid=21#p21 http://freedomspb.mybb.ru/viewtopic.php?pid=18#p18 <p><strong>- Знаете, люблю расслабиться! Вот сяду в кресло и могу полдня сидеть и смотреть на рыбок в аквариуме!<br />- А жена не возмущается?<br />- Да какое ей дело, чем я на работе занимаюсь?</p> <p>А у нас в доме радостное событие - воду горячую отключили! Наконец-то!!!</p> <p>- Я давно мечтаю в Испанию, в Памплону съездить, от быков по улицам побегать...<br />- Да съезди в Люберцы на дискотеку, толкни кого-нибудь и бегай!</p> <p>Два молодых лейтенанта, механик и штурман, решили поменяться постами на одну вахту. Штурман стоит в машинном отделении, охреневает от рева дизелей. К нему подбегает матрос:<br />- Товарищ лейтенант! У правого дизеля греется главный упорный подшипник!<br />- Прибавить оборотов!<br />- Товарищ лейтенант, проплавим подшипник - все под суд пойдем!..<br />- Ну, хрен с тобой, пошли на мостик, с механиком посоветуемся.<br />Поднимаются в ходовую рубку. Там характерная обстановка: темнота, слабые огоньки для подсветки приборов. Над картой склонился механик, сосредоточенно чешущий затылок.<br />- Товарищ лейтенант, - рапортует матрос, - в машине проблема - греется главный упорный подшипник правого дизеля.<br />- И немудрено… второй час по суше идем!!!</p> <p>Автобус полный туристов, жара, сервис наш - кондиционер не работает - в пути уже несколько часов и тут... кто-то так испортил воздух!! у всех глаза режет, народ в бешенстве: &quot;Дайте нам этого урода - разорвём на кусочки&quot; и всё в таком духе.<br />Тут встаёт мужчина солидного вида:&quot;Спокойствие - я экстрасенс в 10 - м поколении и без проблем вычислю этого ублюдка. Мне нужна нитка длинной на весь автобус. &quot; Народ засуетился достал где-то нитку.<br />Экстрасенс: &quot;Теперь натяните нитку от начала и до конца салона и все возьмитесь<br />за нитку&quot;. &quot;Все взялись?!&quot; &quot;ДАА.&quot; &quot;Кто пёрнул, тоже взялся?!&quot; &quot;ДА.&quot;</p> <p>В связи с непрекращающейся жарой мэр Москвы Ю. Лужков распорядился<br />распылять над столицей жаропонижающие средства.</p> <p>- Папа, я беременна!<br />- Слава богу! Зиночка! Наша дочка заговорила!!!</p> <p>Знакомый ездил во Францию и попал в тамошний Диснейленд. На горках он увидел, что перед тем, как детишки отправляются в путь, они кричат фразу &quot;паписта - фали&quot;,заинтересовался вроде бы слово не французское да и не английское подошел к контролеру спросил, мол, что детишки кричат каждый раз перед отправлением? На что ему ответили: месяц назад тут русский студент работал, так вот, каждый раз, дергая рычаг, он кричал - &quot;ПА-ПИЗ-ДОВА-А-ЛИ&quot;</p> <p>Разбушевался как-то Илья Муромец и стал бить народ в своей деревне.<br />А те ни будь дураками, пригласили Брюса Ли. После недолгой драки Брюс ушел. А Илья так и остался лежать в кустах да стонать. К нему подходит бабуся:<br />- Что, Илеюшка, плохо?<br />- Этот дохлятик ушел?<br />- Да.<br />- Ну все, пиздец всей деревне.</p> <p>Всё, с утра в стране (а в Москве особенно) запрещено улыбаться вообще,<br />до особого распоряжения. Почему?<br />ОТ УЛЫБКИ СТАНЕТ ВСЕМ ТЕПЛЕЙ...<br />И СЛОНУ, И ДАЖЕ МАЛЕНЬКОЙ УЛИТКЕ...</p> <p>Медики отмечают возросший уровень сексуальной культуры у мужчин. За последние 10 лет на 25% возросла площадь, покрываемая ими предварительными ласками.</p> <p>Кризис хуже развода - половины имущества уже нет, а жена все еще со мной...</p> <p>Сидит мужик в ресторане. Забегает другой мужик и кричит:<br />- Вася, там твою жену трахают!<br />Мужик подрывается, выбегает из ресторана и в этот момент его сбивает машина. Просыпается он в больнице и думает: вот нервный стал, ведь не Вася я, да и не женат уже полгода.</p> <p>Школа. Урок рисования. Учитель говорит детям: Все достаньте карандаши и альбомы. Сегодня мы будем рисовать лошадь. А Наташа Петрова постарается не шевелиться.</p> <p>- Почему вы решили развестись со своей супругой, мистер Джонс?<br />- Из соображений гуманизма, ваша честь.<br />- ???<br />- Если я проживу с ней ещё хотя бы один день, я эту суку точно<br />придушу!!!</p> <p>- Петька! Анку привезли?<br />- Чапмен?<br />- Ты чо, тупой? Я тебя спрашиваю: Анку привезли?<br />- Уже привезли в Домодедово, Василий Иваныч!<br />- Дорого платили?<br />- Три полковника, один ботаник!</p> <p>Интеллигентный мальчик с папой выходят из общественного туалета.<br />- Пап, а кто такие пидорасы?<br />- А в каком контексте? - соображая как помягче ответить. .<br />- Там было нацарапано: депутаты = ...<br />- Ну вот, ты сам ответил на свой вопрос! ...</p> <p>- Слушай, Лёша, ты ведь из Питера? Не помнишь, технологический институт<br />рядом с какой станцией метро?<br />- Ты не поверишь...</p> <p>Маленькая Анечка говорит кассирше Супермаркета:<br />- Вы вчера ошиблись на 100 рублей, когда давали мне сдачу! . .<br />- Но ты должна была сразу же тогда и сказать об этом, - мягко возражает кассирша, ласково глядя на ребёнка, чтобы не обидить её своим категоричным отказом, - сейчас уже поздно это выяснять...<br />- Ну хорошо, - с готовностью соглашается Анечка, - тогда я оставлю их себе...</p> <p>Медицинская комиссия по проверке призывников. Перед врачом стоит совершенно голый здоровый парень и жалуется на неподдающуюся лечению слабость зрения. Врач поднимает кулак и спрашивает:<br />- Что вы видите?<br />- Ничего! Совершенно ничего!<br />Врач жестом подзывает медсестру, расстегивает ее блузку и начинает мять ее груди.<br />- Что вы сейчас видите?<br />- Только неясные контуры.<br />Врач говорит:<br />- Мой дорогой! Может быть твои глаза и подводят тебя, но твой член четко показывает направление казармы!</p> <p>Строители олимпийских объектов в Сочи очень рассчитывают на конец<br />света-2012.</p> <p>Жена заходит на кухню - смотрит, а муж сидит в самом центре кухни и дрочит. Она подходит к нему и начинает делать минет. Сделала, пошла в ванную через минуту возвращается.<br />Охуевший муж:<br />- Чего это ты мне минет сделала?<br />- Да я, блядь, лучше за минуту рот сполосну, чем буду потом полдня кухню отмывать!!!</p> <p>- Яша, ты там смотри, не помри...<br />- Х** тебе!<br />- Это таки завещание?..</p> <p>В одном провинциальном городишке не слишком большом и не слишком маленьком жил и работал паренек. Работал он в автобyсном парке(водилой),а в качестве yвлечения катался на моцике.<br />Ехал он однажды на работy -опаздывал малость и потомy торопился. Выжал из мотоцикла все шо мог и приехав на работy отметился, заскочил в автобyс и выехал на маршрyт.<br />Подрyлив к первой остановке открыл двери - все как полагается, но ни один человек не вошел в автобyс. Парень в недоyмении, остановка забита-yтро рабочего дня, автобyсы ходят в час по чайной ложке, а салон чист. Пожав плечами поехал к следyющей -но и там та же беда Отъехав от 3 по счетy остановки он забеспокоился и остановив автобyс прошел в салон, обошел машинy крyгом. Hо так ни чего и не найдя протянyл рyкy к голове почесать затылок.<br />Рyка наткнyлась на мотоциклетный шлем.</p> <p>Организаторы гастролей знают, что Маша Распутина, когда обижается на<br />предлагаемый ей гонорар, надувает губки, и, теряя равновесие, падает<br />лицом вниз.</p> <p>Парень с девушкой собираются ехать на пещеры. Он:<br />- Ты только обязательно возьми куртку, штаны и кроссовки и, желательно, перчатки, чтобы не жалко было испачкать.<br />Она:<br />- Ты меня точно не вагоны разгружать везёшь? . .</p> <p>- Папа, сколько мне понадобится денег, для того, чтобы жениться?<br />- Не знаю, сынок. Я до сих пор плачу...</p> <p>Голодный студент, поднимающийся пешком к себе домой на 14-й этаж, до<br />последнего верил, что жареной курицей пахнет именно из его квартиры.</p> <p>Костюмированный бал. Толпа в маскарадных костюмах. И вдруг в залу входит совершенно голая блондинка. Музыка смолкла, все выпучили глаза.<br />Тут же к ней подбегает устроитель бала и шипит:<br />- Вы что, с ума сошли?<br />- А что, я в костюме Адама!<br />- Дура! В костюме Адама! А где, ну, этот: х р е н?<br />- Я ведь только что зашла. Сейчас кто-нибудь да привяжется...</p> <p>Леди примеряет у зеркала новую шубку:<br />- Мамочка, - спрашивает ее сынишка, - тебе ее купил папа?<br />- Папа, папа. Если бы я надеялась на твоего папу, то и тебя-то на свете не было...</p> <p>В жизни каждого IT-шника рано или поздно наступает момент, когда он<br />понимает, что клавиатуру проще купить, чем отмыть...</p> <p>Пьяный мужик подошел к проститутке и спрашивает:<br />- Все хочу тебя спросить, чем ты занимаешься в свободное от работы время?</p> <p>При раскопках в Великом Новгороде обнаружен хуй, который был положен в<br />14 веке неизвестным подчиненным на известного начальника.<br /></strong></p> mybb@mybb.ru (Граф™) Sun, 18 Jul 2010 13:42:50 +0400 http://freedomspb.mybb.ru/viewtopic.php?pid=18#p18 http://freedomspb.mybb.ru/viewtopic.php?pid=17#p17 <p><strong>- Охотишься?<br />- Не, по грибы. Бывало, подойдешь так неслышно к грибникам, осмотришь их корзинки и скажешь: &quot;Ух ты, сколько вы грибов насобирали!&quot;</p> <p>Настройщик пианино настраивает инструмент в комнате отдыха психбольницы.<br />В комнату заходит мужчина и включает телевизор. Орущий телевизор мешает настройщику работать, но он решает не спорить, а просто подходит к телевизору и молча его выключает. Мужчина странно смотрит на настройщика и снова включает телевизор. Так повторяется несколько раз.<br />Первым не выдерживает настройщик:<br />- Послушайте, я пытаюсь настроить пианино и для этого мне нужна тишина.<br />Тогда мужчина рассмеялся:<br />- Я телевизионный мастер и пришёл починить телевизор. Я думал, что вы сумасшедший и просто стучите по клавишам.</p> <p>- Моя жена - таракан.<br />- ???<br />- Она дала мне обещание похудеть. И теперь ест только ночью на кухне, когда я сплю. А когда включаешь свет - начинает в панике прятаться...</p> <p>Лекция по сексологии:<br />- По внешнему виду человека можно определить, как часто он занимается сексом. Те, которые занимаются каждый день и не по одному разу, выглядят довольными жизнью, бодрыми, энергичными… Есть такие? Встаньте, пожалуйста. – встают несколько человек подходящего вида.<br />- Те, которые занимаются сексом 5-10 раз в месяц, нормальные, обычные люди, загруженные проблемами… Есть такие? Встаньте, пожалуйста.<br />Встали тетки с сумками и мужики с перхотью на воротниках.<br />- Те, которые занимаются сексом раз в год, совсем не радуются жизни, вялые, понурые… Есть такие? Покажитесь нам!<br />Вскакивает молодой человек, аж, светится счастьем, улыбка на 32 зуба, в общем, полное опровержение.<br />- Вы?! Один раз в год?! А что ж такой веселый?<br />- Потому, что СЕГОДНЯ!!!</p> <p>Газпром - это наше всё. А мы - его ничто.</p> <p>- Представь, купил себе электронные сигареты.<br />- Ну и как ?<br />- Уже неделю занят поиском драйверов...</p> <p>Женщины - это такие милые, забавные существа, питающиеся деньгами.</p> <p>- Слушай, я недавно женился и жена уже достала - всё гундит, что денег мало! А у тебя как с женой?<br />- Нормально. Я, как только женился, сразу подарил ей книгу &quot;Экономия семейного бюджета&quot;.<br />- И что, помогло?<br />- Да. Я сразу же, на третий день, бросил курить!</p> <p>Собеседование:<br />- Представьте, у вас в доме в гостях начальник, и вся семья. Вдруг в дом врывается вооружённый террорист, собирает всех в одной комнате, даёт вам пистолет с одним патроном и говорит, что вам нужно застрелить одного из собравшихся, тогда остальных он отпустит. Кого вы застрелите?<br />- Это очевидно.<br />- Ну вы подумайте. Это тяжёлый моральный выбор.<br />- И думать нечего. Конечно же, террориста.</p> <p>Это же сколько надо порнобаннеров просмотреть, чтобы скачать ребенку детскую песенку!..</p> <p>Самолёт потерпел катастрофу и упал на необитаемый остров. Единственный оставшийся в живых сидел под пальмой, обгладывая кость, когда его увидели спасатели, застывшие в ужасе перед ним и кучей человеческих костей за его спиной.<br />- Я понимаю, вы меня ненавидите за то, что я сделал - но я должен был бороться за свою жизнь! Мне нужно было выжить одному на необитаемом острове.<br />Командир спасателей:<br />- Я, конечно, понимаю, ради жизни человек способен на всё...<br />Но, ёб твою мать, самолёт же упал вчера вечером!!!</p> <p>- Слушай, Макс, у тебя жена уже приехала?<br />- Да.<br />- Я там у тебя где-то резинку для волос оставила, ну ту, красную, свою<br />любимую.<br />- У меня, Люся, складывается ощущение, что квартира заминирована, а<br />когда и где рванёт непонятно...</p> <p>Муж и жена гуляют в парке.<br />- Дорогая, прошу тебя, постарайся казаться счастливой.<br />- Зачем?!<br />- Женщина, которая идет нам навстречу, - моя первая жена.</p> <p>Утро. Районная поликлиника.<br />Главврач перед санитарами:<br />- Последний раз спрашиваю, приколисты, кто из вас ночью перевесил плакат «Чистые руки – залог здоровья» с инфекционного кабинета на венерологический?</p> <p>Очень хочется гидроусилитель мозга! Чтобы без труда думать сложные мысли...</p> <p>- Доктор, у меня чешется рука. Это к встрече или к деньгам?<br />- Это грибок...</p> <p>- Представляешь в Москве: коррупция побеждена окончательно, налоги никто не платит, хулиганов нет и можно спокойно гулять по улицам, везде зелень, тишина и спокойствие, все живут свободными...<br />- Зачем представлять, есть такой город... Чернобыль называется...</p> <p>- Вот жизнь, блин, дерьмо. Мне не хватает цели.<br />- Психологи рекомендуют разбивать одну крупную цель на несколько мелких.<br />Вот, например, у моего знакомого есть цель: переспать с Анджелиной<br />Джоли. Но первая мелкая цель - вылечиться от импотенции.</p> <p>Из рассказа подруги. В городе организовали рейд по отловле маршрутчиков-нелегалов, в которой она и оказалась. Объезжая пробки, на одной из узких улочек водитель маршрутки видит засаду, снимает на глазах гаишников табличку с номером, разворачивается, едет в обратную сторону, и объявляет:<br />- Уважаемые пассажиры, если нас остановят, зовут меня Юра, я ваш друг, денег за проезд не брал.<br />Конечно, ГАИ догоняет маршрутку, пока у водителя проверяют документы, один из ГАИ-шников открывает дверь маршрутки и спрашивает у сидящего мужичка, который едет с двумя большими сумками:<br />- Сколько заплатили за проезд?<br />- Нисколько.<br />- А куда едете?<br />- Не видишь, на шашлыки! (показывает на сумки).<br />- А если не платили, кто вам приходится водитель?<br />- Друг.<br />- А как зовут друга? (Здесь гаишник решил, что тайна вот-вот раскроется).<br />- Юрчик, - как ни в чем не бывало отвечает мужик.<br />Все пасажиры маршрутки радостно его поддерживают. Водитель отделался взяткой.</p> <p>Американская разведка установила подслушивающую аппаратуру на советском заводе, производящем ядерные ракеты. Через два месяца американцы выяснили, что советские ракеты состоят из Ху@вины и Пиз@юлины, соединяются пое... @нью, и все три части полностью взаимозаменяемы.</p> <p>Беременная жена говорит мужу:<br />- Если ребёнок будет похож на тебя, то это станет для него большим<br />несчастьем.<br />Муж:<br />- А если ребёнок не будет похож на меня, то это станет большим<br />несчастьем для тебя.</p> <p>Приходит к врачу парочка:<br />- Доктор. Посмотрите нас во время секса. Нам кажется - что-то не так.<br />И начинают трахаться. Стоны, вздохи, обоюдный оргазм.<br />Доктор:<br />- Да все у вас нормально. Патологии нет. Но за визит вы дожны 50 баксов!<br />Те заплатили и ушли. На следущий день приходят.<br />- Доктор, посмотрите еще раз!<br />Опять потрахались. Опять все нормально. Заплатили полтинник и ушли.<br />Когда они в третий раз пришли, доктор не выдержал и спросил:<br />- Какого хрена вы мне голову морочите?<br />- Понимаете док, я женат, а она замужем. Ессно, мы не можем встречаться ни у нее, ни у меня дома. Номер в гостинице стоит 100 долларов. А у вас я плачу 50, и 43 из них покрывает медицинская страховка!</p> <p>Одесса. Украинца вызвали в КГБ.<br />- Объясните, гражданин Бондаренко, почему вам регулярно присылают<br />посылки из Израиля?<br />- Во время войны я спрятал еврея...<br />- И вам, советскому украинцу, не зазорно получать посылки от этих жидов?<br />А о своём будущем вы подумали?!<br />- Да, сейчас я прячу китайца.</p> <p>Муж застает у себя в доме свою жену в постели со своим лучшим другом.<br />Он хватает своего друга, выволакивает его наружу и затаскивает в сарайчик, где он изредка занимался своим хобби. Там он закрепляет член своего друга в станок со специальным кодом. Затем приносит огромную, грубую пилу.<br />Друг умоляет его:<br />- Не надо! Не делай этого!<br />Муж кладет пилу на станок, рядом с другом и говорит с ухмылкой:<br />- Я нет! Я пойду поджигать сарай!</p> <p>Экскурсовод в зоопарке:<br />- ... А сейчас мы подходим к вольеру с пандой. Посмотрите, какие у неё<br />чёрные круги под глазами. Панда всем своим видом как бы говорит нам:<br />&quot;Не бухайте!&quot;</p> <p>Двое судятся в суде. Один переехал другому ногу. Адвокат потерпевшего встает и говорит:<br />- Мой клиент требует возмещение морального ущерба в размере... ... ста тысяч долларов!<br />Ответчик вскакивает и кричит:<br />- Он что, его мать, думает, что я миллионер!!! !!!<br />Потерпевший вскакивает и тоже кричит:<br />- А ты что, твою мать, думаешь, что я сороконожка!!!</p> <p>- Разрешите доложить, товарищ Маршал?<br />- Доложите, - сказал певец Александр Маршал и пододвинул официанту<br />тарелку.</p> <p>Народная примета. Стоит пойти на работе в туалет, взяв с собой<br />мобильник, обязательно кто-нибудь позвонит и поинтересуется, удобно ли<br />тебе сейчас говорить...</p> <p>Сисадмина к нам недавно на работу приняли. Ничё такой паренёк, в ВМФ<br />когда-то служил - татуировка у него на плече: &quot;Серверный флот&quot;...</p> <p>Итак, форвард московского &quot;Локомотива&quot; Дмитрий Сычёв вновь поразил<br />ворота. Ворота были поражены, как можно в них не попасть с одного метра.</p> <p>Одесский дворик.<br />- Доброе утро, Клара Лазаревна!<br />- Да, Сёмочка, такое доброе, что уже таки хочется срать бабочками...</p> <p>В России зарегистрирован новый вид борьбы: борьбы с коррупцией. При этом<br />нельзя делать захваты, ставить подножки и вообще прикасаться к<br />противнику. Его надо просто уговорить лечь на лопатки.</p> <p>Один синяк звонит второму:<br />- Ты где был?<br />- Да вот что-то печень разрослась - пересадили.<br />- А сейчас что-то тебя не видно?<br />- Новую печень обмываю!</p> <p>- Скажите, как же ваш муж смог пройти все испытания на право участвовать<br />в знаменитом эксперименте &quot;Марс-500&quot; по имитации полета на Красную<br />планету?<br />- Да он большой специалист, он у нас дома 20 лет в туалете тренировался.<br /> Посылают японского разведчика в мавзолей сфотографировать Ленина. Не получилось у него в первый раз, забрало ЧК фотоаппарат и не разрешило снимать. Вшили японцу фотоаппарат в фуражку - и снова неудача. Отправляют японского шпиона в третий раз, замаскировали аппарат в пуговицу - и опять как всегда. Увидел он русского пьяницу под мавзолеем, предложил ему сфотографировать Ленина за ящик водки - тот и согласился. Проходит некоторое время, возвращается посланник с мешком и говорит, мол, где будем фотографировать - здесь или на природе!?</p> <p>- Mожно тебя сюда на минутку.<br />- Ну неси...</p> <p>Обычно говорят: &quot;ничего не понял&quot;, но правильно говорить: &quot;всё не понял&quot;</p> <p>Шубка на девушке должна быть мягкой, чтобы приятно было гладить под ней попку.</p> <p>Адвокат обвиняемому:<br />- Я бы мог взяться за вашу защиту, но мои услуги немало стоят. Вы способны их оплатить?<br />Обвиняемый (молодой человек):<br />- Ну, денег у меня нет, но есть шикарный спортивный автомобиль - может быть, вы его примете в качестве вознаграждения?<br />Адвокат:<br />- Хорошо, годится. Так в чем вас обвиняют?<br />Тот:<br />- В угоне шикарного спортивного автомобиля...</p> <p>Зачастую, вам советуют обуздать себя только для того, чтобы потом на вас ездить.</p> <p>Быстрее всего радужные перспективы открываются при помощи штопора.</p> <p>&quot;Кто кого ещё порвёт!&quot; - сказала Тузику надутая до 10 атмосфер грелка.</p> <p>Каждый Кулибин свое изобретение хвалит.</p> <p>В программе &quot;Своя Игра&quot; разыгрываются: Лада Калина, Лада Приора и суперприз: АВТОМОБИЛЬ!!!</p> <p>- Ну что, мужики, по 50?!!<br />- Не-е, сегодня помоложе возьмём!</p> <p>- Крик начальника - признак его слабости как руководителя..<br />- Во-во, мой такой слабенький, такой слабенький - удавил бы... суку..</p> <p>Я понял, почему люди к старости седеют...<br />В них же банально заканчивается тонер!</p> <p>- Я знала, что алкоголь может сократить цветочно-конфетный период после знакомства. Просто рассчитывала, что это будет чуть подольше, чем 20 минут...</p> <p>- Дорогой, ты скоро станешь папой!<br />- Не могу, я уезжаю!</p> <p>- У вас есть алиби?<br />- Есть. Хотите волютой?</p> <p>Писать Медведеву в twitter — всё равно, что говорить Медведеву в телевизор.</p> <p>По статистике 90% людей, которые делают ремонт в воскресенье утром, спят с мужчинами.</p> <p>Николай Валуев давит тараканов взглядом.</p> <p>- Дорогая, я сына из школы привёл.<br />- Ух ты! Здорово! Как назовём?</p> <p>Фотографическая память есть у всех. Только у некоторых нет пленки...</p> <p>От женщины никогда не знаешь что ожидать - девочку или мальчика.</p> <p>Молодой симпатичный студент ищет спутницу жизни пожилого состоятельного бизнесмена.</p> <p>2 самых популярных запроса в поисковых системах рунета: порно и gjhyj...</p> <p>- Представляешь, мне вчера на Ярославском шоссе в жопу ка-а-ак въебали!<br />- А ты пешком был или на машине?</p> <p>Учительница в школе предложила детям написать коротенькое сочинение и закончить его словами &quot;Мама у меня одна&quot;. Как водится - первой спросили Машу.<br />Маша прочитала:<br />&quot;Мы летом были с мамой в Испании. Купались и загорали. Спасибо за отдых, мама! Мама у меня одна!&quot;<br />Следующий Петя:<br />&quot;Мы летом были с мамой на даче. Ходили по грибы и ягоды! Спасибо, мама, за отдых. Мама у меня одна!&quot;<br />Ну, и последний руку тянет Вовочка. Его вызывают. Он - читает: &quot;Вчера я пришел домой и открыл холодильник, чтоб хотя бы чего-нибудь съесть, так как денег мне на еду в школе не дают. Но дома в холодильнике тоже ничего не было - только две бутылки пива. Тогда я взял, да и выпил одну бутылку. В это время проснулась с будуна мама и закричала: &quot;Вальдемар, принеси мои две бутылки пива!!!&quot; А я ответил: &quot;Мама, у меня одна!&quot;</p> <p>Патологоанатомы - чуткие люди, они никогда не режут по живому.</p> <p>Каждый день не устаю благодарить Господа за то, что мы размножаемся не почкованием.</p> <p>Хорошо быть смелым, но страшно.</p> <p>Под глазами обозначились темные области переоцененных возможностей.</p> <p>- Чего хотят женщины?<br />- Женщины хотят, чтобы всё было так, как они хотят!</p> <p>Правило точности<br />Работая над решением задачи, всегда полезно знать ответ.</p> <p>Неправда, что женщины не способны думать. Они способны, но просто не видят в этом необходимости.</p> <p>Ни что так не ограничивает свободу слова, как набитый рот.</p> <p>- Дорогая, а что у нас насчет супружеских обязанностей?<br />- Да разве ж я против? Дело за малым...<br />- Эй! Малый, ты спать сегодня вообще собираешься???</p> <p>В общаге мы ели все вместе из общей кастрюли. Но так как я жру много и быстро, мне выделяли отдельную тарелку.</p> <p>К 2030 году каждая российская семья будет жить в отдельной машине.</p> <p>- Сволочь ты! Всю жизнь мне испортил! Всю молодость на тебя потратила!<br />- Хватит разговаривать с дипломом</p> <p>- Вчера вот мужчина с женщиной в лифте застряли. Ну, у женщины истерика, а у мужчины - новая женщина</p> <p>Почему мужчины смотрят футбол не дома по телевизору, а на стадион ходят, мы же в Мексику не ездим сериалы смотреть?</p> <p>Судьба играет человеком как в Тетрис, крутит его и вертит только для того, чтобы в итоге хорошо вставить.</p> <p>Культурный человек плюёт только в специально отведённые души.</p> <p>Трудно взять женщину силой, особенно если она не сопротивляется.</p> <p>Особенно невыносимы идиоты, которые смотрят на тебя как на равного.</p> <p>Ходили с друзьями в поход, погодка была наиотвратительнейшая, то дождь, то ливень, и одну очень важную на мой взгляд вещь я уяснил на всю жизнь: Под дождём суп можно есть вечно!</p> <p>Мужчина, руку вы не предлагаете, сердца у вас нет, дайте хоть на шею сяду...</p> <p>Макияж, маникюр, педикюр, эпиляция... А в детстве, что бы стать красивой, достаточно было надеть на голову колготки и сказать всем, что это косы...</p> <p>Собирались поебаться - заебались собираться...</p> <p>Природа наделала много ошибок, и теперь все они выезжают на неё отдохнуть.</p> <p>В Корее кинолог может съесть свою только после демобилизации.</p> <p>В России всё что делается ключом меньше чем на 24, считается нанотехнологией.</strong></p> mybb@mybb.ru (Граф™) Fri, 16 Jul 2010 19:05:38 +0400 http://freedomspb.mybb.ru/viewtopic.php?pid=17#p17 http://freedomspb.mybb.ru/viewtopic.php?pid=6#p6 <p><strong>Скачать все карты которые есть на сервере через torrent</strong> - <a href="http://opensharing.org/torrent/47572/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Все карты torrent (скачать)</a> :cool:</p> mybb@mybb.ru (Граф™) Wed, 14 Jul 2010 16:17:11 +0400 http://freedomspb.mybb.ru/viewtopic.php?pid=6#p6 http://freedomspb.mybb.ru/viewtopic.php?pid=3#p3 <p>Тут пишем название карты и ссылку</p> mybb@mybb.ru (Граф™) Wed, 14 Jul 2010 01:20:29 +0400 http://freedomspb.mybb.ru/viewtopic.php?pid=3#p3